I'd try talking to the instructor first about what's making you feel that way as they may be able to adapt. If that fails, then finding someone whose style suits you better may be worth it. My trainer used to push me and make me think I'd never be able to do some things but that was what I needed to improve - he was someone who was just a natural horseman and couldn't always see why I found something tricky. I always made sure I ended a session with something that felt good and it was worth persevering. Don't give up and good luck

I think your trainer only pushes u hard because she or he wants u to be the best you can be. I had a trainer that used to push me hard and it made me a better rider because of it

I've never had a paid instructor so I personally don't know what to tell you. Just do your very best and if that doesn't work I would quit.

It's been a long time and this thread is old, but I hope I can help someone...

If your trainer is making you want to quit, you need to:
1. Have a serious, mature talk with them about the reasons WHY they make you feel like you want to quit...

and then, if that does not work:
2. Find another trainer.

It took me ~10 years of riding to find the perfect barn/trainer combination for me, and now that I'm there, I've made SO much progress. I went from having doubts as to whether or not I'd ever advance past novice with trainers who didn't believe in me / push me as much as they should've to riding leveled dressage tests in basically two seasons. It's possible to progress in this sport but only if you have the right connections!

My honest recommendation to anyone looking to advance, who like their trainer, is to try cross training. The trainer I ride with now was mostly a dressage instructor who rode to grand prix level, and now she teaches everything from Western Pleasure to gymkhana to eventing. That's not possible with everyone, though, so find a barn in a discipline you don't normally ride in, and see how much that helps you. People ask dancers to always build up foundations in ballet, and it's the same deal with equestrian sports. If you don't have a strong foundation in something like dressage, you're probably not going to advance in the ways you'd like.

And best of all, regarding my experience -- it was my trainer who told me she wanted me in leveled tests, not me.

thx for all the help and got the tips