Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin’ when your mouth's a-jawin'.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.

There are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.

Some cowboys have too much tumbleweed in their blood to settle down.

Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

We all got pieces of crazy in us, some bigger pieces than others.

An onion can make people cry; but, there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.

Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.

Don't dig for water under the outhouse.

Don't go in if you don't know the way out.

Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.

Never corner something meaner than you.

Never drive black cattle in the dark.

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.

If you haven’t fallen off a horse, then you haven’t been ridin’ long enough.

The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!

There is no better place to heal a broken heart than on the back of a horse.

There never was a horse that couldn't be rode; never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed.

Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.

When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.

Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.