I recently lost my dog of 9 years that I raised watched be born from New born pup to her adult life. She was the world to me. I was unfortunately at work when my dad called saying there was something wrong with her, we live 30 to 45 minutes away from a vet hospital he sped to get her there in 12 mins it's nothing but highways to get there. When he made it there they had a crash cart ready and ready to do CPR on her despite there best efforts she was already gone. I lost my best friend to a pulmonary aneurysm on 12/23/2025 yes the day before Christmas eve, I left work that afternoon shattered in a million pieces, I try to pick to pick up those pieces day by day. When I do my mind does tend to wonder if I new now what I didn't know then would it have changed the outcome? Or would it still have resulted in the same outcome?. For context she had an autoimmune disorder and the medication she was on was helping but I had no idea about this deadly side effect. I new with her condition before medication she wouldn't be around unless she was on it, I had no idea that this would be the consequence of that particular side effect that no vet ever discussed with me of that potential outcome in the very end. So while I may see distant and not active like usual this is why, it may takes months to years for me to accept what happened or it may not which is okay I can take as long as I need to heal. So yes I'm still active it's just my mind is wandering around lost trying to pick those pieces I lost one day at a time.