~"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

~"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -Lily Tomlin

~I used to have superpowers, then my therapist took them away.

~A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

~Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

~Knowledge is power, power corrupts. Study hard, be evil.

~A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend would be sitting next to you saying, "Man that was fun!"

~The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so they can tell when they're really in trouble.